I began playing with Kuthumi in this lifetime around thirteen years ago. Well, consciously anyway.
It has been an incredible adventure made even more amazing through sharing our work with others. We began with writing books, then expanded into private sessions. Soon we were doing a radio show and being interviewed on other people’s shows. Then we were invited to be part of events so that one glorious night we even channelled on the Nile river, thanks to the generosity of Geoffrey and Linda Hoppe during one of the Crimson Circle Egyptian tours. (and thank you Adamus for relinquishing the stage that night!)
It has always and still is overwhelming at times how people have embraced our partnership and allowed themselves to grow and play with enlightenment through our channels and books. It has also been very intriguing the way people can assume how I work and connect with Kuthumi.
So with that I would like to share with you what being a channeler and connecting with an ethereal being is like for me, and along the way we might dissolve some myths and misconceptions.
I’m not supernatural and I can’t predict the future and for both of these I am most grateful!
Being a channeler has the connotation of being bestowed upon with super powers. Let me assure you that I am still the most ordinary of humans. I eat, I sleep, I poop, I pay bills. All that has stayed. What has also remained is my inability to walk through walls or bi-locate. Kuthumi, nor anyone else I have connected with has given me any physical or magical seeing powers. In honesty I don’t desire them anyway.
Having said that, the more I accept and allow my innate creativity then the more I am shown how the simple laws of this dimension are bendable at the very least. Time can stretch, abundance defies mass consciousness and my body finds ways to balance beyond beliefs.
Yes, I have opened that trust in my creativity through the space I go into when I channel, however I don’t channel to force a result or create an outcome for myself or anyone listening. I open my communication with Kuthumi as each time I do I reconnect with my feeling space where I can open my self love and awareness beyond my mind. Each time I do this I invite soul deeper into life. I say yes to living. I remember my joy and the limitless potentials available to me. This means I am in anticipation of whatever lies ahead as I know my soul will always create with love.
That is far better than predicting anything.
I truly believe that we all have the potential to open our channels of communication. I don’t believe I was chosen for this or it is a gift from the universe. I chose to play with Kuthumi and this experience is my gift to me.
Kuthumi isn’t my knight in shining armour, because he knows I am not a damsel in distress… and I like hanging out with dragons.
One of the grandest realisations of enlightenment is the simple truth that each one of us is simply a soul creating experience. Anything beyond that is stories and beliefs that we have layered upon it to play with all the different flavours this dimension has to offer.
That simple truth has no judgement or measurement. It is pure compassion. In having this compassion for ourselves then we can offer that also outside of ourselves. It is this compassion that Kuthumi has reminded me of from the very beginning.
Kuthumi is always in a perpetual state of compassion with me. He never judges nor does he push me towards any choices or decisions. If he did then he wouldn’t be honouring the creator that I am. So when I am having episodes where I am deep in my mind or distracted (yeah they still happen!) Kuthumi doesn’t rush in to rescue me. Firstly, that would mean he is judging me as flawed and imperfect. It would also make me a victim, even if it is myself perpetrating the drama and imbalance.
Instead he celebrates every moment that I am creating because he sees them all as magnificent. Yep, even when I’m in a shitty mood or do something “stupid”, he will stand back and let me have my experience, because I am God also.
I could give my power over to him, but even as I wrote that I heard him say he doesn’t want it! I’m sure there are entities who would love to take it from me. The truth is, I have chosen to be sovereign. I don’t want anyone outside of me to shape my experience. That is a huge choice to make and I have done it from my very soul. That Kuthumi honours, and delights in that, makes our work together even more joyful, and assures me that I am truly working with an enlightened being.
Kuthumi doesn’t constantly talk to me and I don’t need a tin-foil hat to shut him off.
Over the years my communication with Kuthumi has evolved. At first I wanted to talk to him constantly and we had lots to talk about. Lots! I was barely six years into my true awakening and was taking in huge amounts of energy by way of information. It was a bit like I had gathered a library but it was in no order. Kuthumi guided me to fine tune everything I had learnt and remembered so far.
Kuthumi always did it at the perfect pace, because he respected what I was ready for. I was never dragged forward, nor was I coddled. There was nothing he HAD to share, but there was everything ready to share in just the right moment. He would wait patiently for me to connect with him, to ask him and even then he would simply share his experience in similar circumstances or guide me to my breath and soul connection to feel my own clarity.
In all our years together I could probably count on one hand the times he has offered an insight without me actively asking or seeking it from him. There are two times that always come to mind.
The first was boarding a plane for Europe. At check-in my friend and I cheekily asked for an up-grade of our tickets, which was good-humouredly refused. I smiled and said “oh well, one day”. Kuthumi piped in and said “you know when you say ‘one day’ to something that’s where it stays!” It made me laugh as I felt into that and how easy it is to delay our joy because we feel that something is beyond us. Later as we were boarding, I was called aside and given an upgrade to business class!
The second was after a car accident. I was standing looking at my damaged car knowing it was beyond repair, and a rush of thoughts crowded in; the stress of getting a new car, dealing with insurance and somehow finding another way to get to the workshop I was on my way to. In truth Kuthumi said nothing more than “Ahemmmm!!”, like clearing his throat. It was enough to remind me that I was in my mind and to stay in the moment. Everything was ok right now. The second I came back to the moment, everything unfolded with an ease I couldn’t have imagined in the moments before.
For those times I am grateful for his reminders as well as still letting me choose how I took that guidance which could easily have been dismissed. Equally I am grateful for him not butting in constantly. In the journey of awakening it has been a joy to uncover my soul voice with its love and guidance. If Kuthumi had constantly been there, I would not have had the joy of hearing my own voice and knowing it more intimately. Kuthumi has always supported me in turning to my soul voice first, because in truth, if I didn’t know my own voice then I wouldn’t know his fully either. Everything would just be a mash of energy, infused with god knows what else.
Also as you can imagine after thirteen years together, one would hope that the very core of what Kuthumi has shared would now be second nature to me. Most of what he has helped me remember is now my natural way of being. Kuthumi doesn’t need to constantly share with me because I have integrated it all…mostly. Sure, I can still get distracted but our sharing has given me all I need to take myself back to balance.
Kuthumi is not a teacher and I am not a student.
Kuthumi says to people that if they feel a connection with him, then they have usually shared experiences in other lifetimes. He would often cite the ancient mystery schools and say “sometimes you were my student and other times I was yours.” I have always loved that he will comfortably remind us that we are as wise as he is. We are just in the amnesia fog and dense gravity of being human.
We make a strong commitment to forgetting that we are creators so we can dive deep into experience. As we awaken and remember our truth that original commitment can test our trust in soul and push back against our innate wisdom. In a sense we must reprogram ourselves.
Kuthumi did this too, over many lifetimes. The Kuthumi who I connect with is from his last (linear) human life, where he accepted his enlightenment and chose to stay and enjoy being human while remembering his soul connection. As he guides me, Kuthumi has also told me that he is simply helping me remember my truth. He is supporting me as I wake up my memories of all the wisdom I have gathered.
He never walks before me. He is by my side as my equal.
“You once helped me do this, so now I will help you.”
It’s a wonderful reminder that no soul is grander than another. That no experience is better than another.
Kuthumi is not a performing monkey and he doesn’t owe you (or me) anything.
Yes, channelling can be a novelty and highly entertaining. This can make it rife for energy feeding too and I am sure in my early days I let my ego in a few times as I decided how and when I would channel. I’ve seen other channelers who feel compelled to share their new connection and whatever it has revealed with that sense they can save the world…or at least one soul…
It was a big step to reveal that I was channeling but it was a joyful one. I have no regrets what so ever. A part of me knew that it would leave me open to criticism but I had Kuthumi as an ally so it would all be ok.
Oh my, do people love to test you and your chosen being! They can want instantaneous answers to questions, or they aren’t satisfied you are truly connected unless you are in a trance like state and your voice changes. Some people have a great time finding the smallest thing to criticise you hoping to take you back to feeling as small as they clearly are. That isn’t just reserved for channelers I know.
We started doing private sessions and the initial joy of letting Kuthumi interact directly with people soon lost its shine. People can often expect an outcome because they have paid for a service. I had people talk over Kuthumi and interrupt him because they just wanted attention rather than answers or even get angry when he would gently question them to open their awareness.
Now that was not every session but what I could feel was that even though they were choosing a session they may not be ready for the change or shift they wanted. Sometimes I could feel him hold back, because he knew they weren’t ready to listen. Other times he would be so direct I would recoil inwardly, but he knew they needed something strong to see their truth.
Eventually I would end the sessions as I had no passion for them anymore. Kuthumi respected this and it allowed for our adventure to evolve into our soul schools.
Along the way I have fallen into being comfortable with who I am and how I choose to do whatever it is I am doing in the moment. I don’t need anyone’s approval. I don’t owe anyone an answer from Kuthumi. I don’t need a huge following or to get myself more exposure.
I play with Kuthumi for the joy of knowing him and knowing myself more. We create our schools, radio shows and books because our connection as well as the creativity and joy that flows from this is always primarily for me. If others want to join us as part of their soul adventure, well then that is great too!
There are infinite ways to be enlightened and they are all the path to freedom.
It can be so easy to make our spirituality or our spiritual journey a mission or a purpose. I know I have been blessed that my connection to Kuthumi has allowed for that to contribute to my finances and abundance as I have shared it with others. That in itself can make it very tempting to look for ways to make our work together become a business that would solely sustain my life.
I have no judgement whatsoever upon those who have taken their channeling and made very financially successful enterprises from them. They are doing wonderful work and without several of them, I wouldn’t have woken up my channeling and connected with Kuthumi. Its their passion to do so, hence why it serves them so well. Spirituality certainly doesn’t have to equate to lack or struggle. Kuthumi would be the first to tell you so.
As I am now I have time to indulge my other passions, namely baking, gardening and travel. Our work doesn’t need staff to oversee or office space to hire. Its simple, easy and graceful; which is essentially how I choose to live life.
It just doesn’t work to constantly measure yourself against the world or anyone. Which reminds me of a third time Kuthumi offered me some unsolicited advice.
I had been asked to speak at a conference in Austria. At the time I was working in a supermarket and as I was checking on some stock I just felt my entire being sigh. How the hell could I go and stand before a crowd and speak about enlightenment when I still had such a menial job? Kuthumi gently said “when are you going to get tired of beating yourself up?”
As usual he got me to laugh at myself. My job was a blessing- close to home and providing me with the finances to enjoy life. My mind though loved to drag me back into victim whenever it could and Kuthumi had shone a bright light on this pattern.
Not long after that someone tried to get me to explain how I reconciled still “having a job”. I couldn’t even answer them. It came from a place of their expectations for what enlightenment should look like.
The dreaded “S” word- should. Whenever someone uses that word now all they are doing is revealing where they are still in judgement and expectation, and it just doesn’t interest me to carry anyone’s expectations for them anymore. Setting myself free of my own expectations allowed so much joy into my life that I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone else’s lock me up again.
That is what Kuthumi and soul continually show me- where am I still keeping myself in a cage? It can be easy to swap the mass consciousness cage for the spiritual cage, as we change out old beliefs for newer ones. However, no matter how noble they are, a cage is still a cage.
When Kuthumi channelled those words with me we were in India and the words echoed with me for weeks afterwards. I know I am constantly rewriting my story, the story that defines my experience, and each rewrite sheds old beliefs or even newer ones that have set up fresh limits for me.
Kuthumi reminds me to come to my truth and essence for all I need- and in that space is such infinite love that I cannot imagine how I would even want to bind it. Instead I breathe and invite it to guide me.
Would I be where I am without Kuthumi? The honest answer is no. He has been an indelible part of my journey and I am eternally grateful for his presence, wisdom and humour.
Beneath all this though was my choice to connect with my truth and to commit to an awakened life. It was this choice that allowed Kuthumi into my life. As I continue to choose life with soul, then too I have allowed my relationship with Kuthumi to expand.
We are now interwoven but still free, because that is our agreement.