Self reflection has been one of my most valuable tools as seek to expand my enlightenment. (Yes, I am enlightened. I got sick of waiting…but more about that another time.) For me this inward reflection has gone hand in hand with awareness.
Awareness has been all about fine tuning my soul connection. The more I consciously tune into where I am at, the more I am aware of when I am acting from soul or from one of those incredibly talented aspects I have created.
Yes, it can be some work. You are constantly checking in at first but wonderfully over time it becomes so natural to know your soul state as it becomes your way of being. The times of imbalance are less frequent and…ummm…. softer. When I add compassion to the mix, well then things get downright fluffy. Like a new pillow in a freshly washed cover that you want to snuggle for eternity.
Growing up I believed compassion was about feeling sorry for others. That to express compassion I would do something like offer some sympathy, make a donation or make that tut-tut sound with my tongue while I slowly shook my head. Then in the new consciousness as I worked really hard to learn how to be spiritual I heard something wonderful; compassion is actually just acceptance.
Mmmmm. Interesting. Most importantly, a whole lot less work.
The change in perspective is quite astounding. To look at a beggar now and simply take a breath and honour their creation can be quite challenging. To read of another story of a child being abused can make you wonder if this form of compassion is at all honourable.
When we strip away the story and the emotions though we come back to a core truth. Each person here is simply choosing an experience. Some are dark and heavy, some are joyful and abundant. They are simply stories being played out.
That can seem quite detached and cold to some. To me it is wonderful to be able to stand back and honour everyone’s choices.
Do I wish there were no wars, abuse or starvation? You bet I would love to wake up tomorrow to a world of peace and harmony. But that’s not why we created this dimension. We created Earth to play.
I love how Kuthumi describes each unique soul as a little spark from the eternal all that is, that went out to play to know all it can be. As we play with all the potentials we can be, that little spark becomes its own inferno. We are all gathering wisdom as we allow our souls to experience the depths that this dimension has to offer.
So as I look at the refugees, the ones in warzones, the stories of other tragedies on the news, beneath all the human suffering and injustice, I see a beautiful creativity of all of the souls taking part. To me it is just as beautiful as an artist creating a painting, or a baker making a cake.
To accept that everyone is right where they are meant to be, all within a glorious symphony of creation, can free a lot of energy. Energy that many of us use in judging, measuring and questioning, as well as rescuing, fixing and forcing.
For me the real freedom that compassion allows though is when I offer it to myself.
I had a wonderful moment a few years ago when I finally “got” this. I was working in my local supermarket at a great job which had opened up my financial state with a lot of joy and honour. At this time I had been invited to speak and channel at a conference in Europe, on stage before hundreds of people. It was an incredible opportunity and I was genuinely excited.
Then as I was deep in my work one day, a few months before the conference, a very dark and old voice spoke from within.
“You work in a supermarket! Who are you to be speaking at a conference?”
I sighed and agreed. I felt my mind go into a whole list of things I should be doing instead or should have done.
Then my dear friend Kuthumi asked me something quite simple – “Aren’t you tired of beating yourself up? Wouldn’t it be nice to love yourself just as you are now?”
I sighed again. This time a bit deeper and with some relief. It felt nice to be invited to do this and within me I accepted the invitation.
We all delay our own acceptance and self love for so many reasons. When I pay off my debts/win the lottery. When I lose weight. When I find a lover. When I get a good job. When I heal my body. When I travel to (insert dream destination). The list goes on…..
To stop and simply love and accept ourselves as we are now can be a challenge. We have been conditioned to believe we should be a certain way. The reality of being human is a veritable minefield of opportunities to blast our self love. Yet it is always there waiting for us.
We were born of this love, and it never fades or diminishes. We just let it get buried under the rubble of experience and beliefs.
So that day as Kuthumi reminded me, I simply brushed off the debris I had piled onto it and decided to become aware of what was distracting me from loving me just as I was. The potentials and opportunities this has since allowed into my life are incredible.
I am not a millionaire or a size eight. I do not have an international publishing deal. What I do have is a love of life that is expanding and allowing so much joy into my life.
Do I get distracted and forget this? Yes I do, but like I said those times get less. More importantly I don’t beat myself up when I do get distracted! Those times become opportunities to re-affirm my commitment to my soul connection and the love it offers.
In my new found comfort with self I one day found myself at a dinner table with someone who was travelling the world with great financial abundance. We chatted and shared stories about his travels which were fascinating. Then he tilted his head and said “How do you reconcile still having a job?”
I was momentarily speechless. With all the acceptance and love I was offering myself it seemed almost surreal that someone would need to throw their judgements at me. In that moment though I was reminded of how draining it can be to not have compassion for where others are at.
Even with how comfortable I was with myself, the comment came loaded with the energy of feeding that could have really affected me and thrown me back into my self-judgement. Instead I allowed him his sense of superiority…and allowed myself the observation that money doesn’t stop you being a patronising dick!
This year I have asked soul to join me in exploring compassion more. A recent gathering that triggered some judgements of others inspired this, showing me that I had quite a bit of potential for it to expand. Even as I am writing this I can feel it opening up.
Compassion is inviting me constantly to see the “bigger” picture. When I get caught up in the minutiae of being human then I close off the grandness of soul. To keep coming back to the simple energy, that I am a soul having experience, then frees my energy to create without the limits of a story that has been created by my mind and its beliefs.
Judgements keep us bound and imprisoned. Soul love doesn’t just set us free from the cage, but shows us all that is ready for us to experience in joy and wonder.
As I began to play with compassion with this new commitment to know it more, I kept saying the word “acceptance”, but I feel now this is only part of what compassion is in the new energy. For me compassion is now also about allowing.
The acceptance of all that I am, right here, right now then lets something else unfold. It allows my energy the freedom to create in new ways. It allows potentials to now come to me that once were closed off. It allows aspects to balance and integrate.
It allows the truth of me, the core of me, the essence of me, to become more.
And all it takes is loving myself as I am right now.